Hello. Dis is Fræd Coxby of Coxby and Twine’s Publishing Ltd. I’m just trilled to tell all yous literary mugs out dere about a special offer on two books by dis guy Aaron Gruben.
For a limited time, yous can all dowload da Kindle version of…. let’s see here, which garbage novels are dey again… Oh yeah! King for FREE – wait there must be’s a catch, right? Naw? Just free. Today!
Oh yeah, and da other Kindle book… Crescent Tides, dat’s right. It’ll be $0.99 (which is 1.57 gilders or 0.004 of a pazooza) today and the rest of this here week. Just don’t tell dis Gruben rat about it, ok? Our trollish hackers has trolled his computer, capisce? An’ he don’t need to know. Tanks! And when yous done reading dis, buy some real books from Coxby and Twine’s Publishing to read. (And leave a review to let thems know what yous mugs really think, that’ll tell em!)